It’s been 2.5 weeks since we had to put Sunny down.
It feels like I haven’t seen him in 2.5 years.
It’s hard to imagine life ever being as good as it was 5 weeks ago before Sunny got sick. Mac and Sunny were together as brothers, Mowie was always screaming, yet enjoying their company. Now it’s like this big, fluffy, orange void. It doesn’t seem like it will ever feel better.
The hardest thing is thinking of how wonderful Sunny was. They say you don’t know what you have until it’s gone, but we knew. I never yelled at that cat quite like I yell at Macky or Mowie- he was just too damn sweet and cute. Whenever he jumped on my desk or on the bed, I took the time to hug and kiss him. Even when he scratched the furniture or spilled the water, we just couldn’t yell or stomp our feet at him, he was just too lovable.
It’s getting harder in that we’re back into a normal routine, yet it is still not normal. I no longer look forward to opening the front door and seeing a little orange face hanging down from his sleepy spot above the cabinets. In fact, I don’t get that rush of happiness I used to when approaching the front door.. nothing against Macky and Mowie. I realized a few minutes ago while sitting in the office that someday, I’m not going to find his insanely long orange hairs here and there. It’s been hard for me to sit in this office because Sunny used to lay on my desk with me whenever I did. Now it’s just me and the laptop (sometimes Mowie) but it’s not the same. I looked around my desk for a hair or two and I couldn’t find any. I feel like slowly little pieces of him are going to start to fade away, and I don’t like that.
Macky has been pretty lonely, to the point where we think he’s pulling out some fur out of stress. It got so bad the past few nights with him crying that we talked about getting another cat sooner than we thought. In fact, I’m not sure I want another cat at all. Sunny was perfect… and I’ve owned almost 10 cats in my life. I loved them all and they all have different personalities, like children, but Sunny was special. No cat could ever fill Sunny’s paws, but maybe he could become friends with Macky.